Where it all began...
WARNING!! Inspirational post alert!
"You're too independent." "I need someone that is more available and wants to come to my house every night." "You are wifey material and I'm just looking for someone to have fun with every now and then." "Maybe if you were more or a bitch and not so nice it would be better."
These are actual things guys tell me when they stop talking to me. I can't help who I am and that I have tried so hard to be what my mother wasn't. Don't worry, I don't plan on changing for any man. Even the super hot ones. Ok, I may play pretend for them a little bit.
I grew up in a house that sometimes the plumbing didn't work. Maybe because it was just a pipe that went to the backyard. Just a small ac window unit and a small gas heater in the front and back of the house was all we had to stay warm or cool. We often all piled up in the living room and slept on a mattress on cold winter nights. My mother was an alcoholic that didn't work. My father was a high school drop out that had a job as a laborer that paid minimum. At one time there was 11 people living in the house and he was the only one working. My clothes were hand-me-downs or my mom made them. Therefore, I barely fit in with anyone at school. My best friend loved me for who I was even though she didn't know much about my home life. I hid that a lot.
My mother has a mental illness and is a compulsive liar. She often made me believe she was sick so I would stay home and take care of her or feel sorry for her. Even though if I was sick there wasn't much affection for me. My brothers and sisters had it worse but I was the baby so by the time I came around my parents had actually softened up so I "got my way" more. Meaning I could go stay at friends houses more and they didn't pay much attention to the things I did. They finally moved out when I was 15 and left me the crappy house and they stayed in a camper on the lake so they could fish and hang out with their friends.
During the time I lived alone several things happened. I had an abusive boyfriend, I wanted out of the small town so bad I could taste it, and I learned how to be on my own so I had to grow up fast.
My first few relationships I was my mother. Lazy and just wanted to be loved so I became whoever they wanted me to be. After a 10 year sham of a marriage where I learned he even cheated on our wedding day, I said no more.
My life became my kids and career after that. I worked sometimes four jobs so my kids could have everything I didn't and my bosses knew that I would do what it takes to be successful.
Fast forward to today. I am a single mom with a brand new car that is paid off. I just purchased a home worth over $200K in a nice gated community. This week I had four job offers and my dog adores me. I write this not for pity but to show every woman reading this that she is strong and worthy of success. Maybe one day I will find love. But for right now, life has shown me that with hope, the love of good friends and my children, and a lot of determination, you really can have what you want and be happy with what you have.
Now that you have a little of my background I will return next week with my regularly scheduled humor. God bless!
You rock!
ReplyDeleteThanks Mike. I’m hoping to show people like me they can rock life too :)
ReplyDeleteAren’t you glad we moved next door😎
ReplyDeletemore than you know 💜
ReplyDeletelove the blog. I too grew up in a single mom family. Luckily it came after we were all teens. Brother and I had a morning paper route, go to school, and then do an evening paper route. Then as we grew older, my brother worked his paper routes, but I took on jobs at fast food places, and then in school went 1/2 day to school and 1/2 day working at grocery store. each summer i would go set up new stores in different cities, one in Huntsville, AL, one in Nashville, TN, and one in Mississippi, but not sure where. LOL. My sister went to high school, worked summers, went off to college, worked summers. If we wanted something, WE had to buy it. We moved 13 times from the time we left dad in Big Spring Texas (he was an alcoholic) and every time she got a raise she moved us into something a lil bit nicer. (she worked on the air force base in Blytheville, AR) Sister became a teacher, brother grad h.s., went into navy, got out went to college, became a banker, and I grad h.s., went to u.s. air force, got out became a police officer, and then went to work for Wal-Mart in the home office in Bentonville, AR. Being single mom kids for the most part is awesome. You do what is told, respect your mom, and God takes favor on you. Said all that to say, My Mom decided to stay single until the three of us were out of the house, then she started dating, and eventually remarried, and was married many years until her death. She told us, she was not going to introduce us to someone who may not be for our family, and she waited until she could find someone who was what she needed and could live with him until death do us part. I found my bride at a Divorce Care Class at First Baptist Bossier, singles group (single, single again - divorced/widowed). We had a great group, went through it twice then got kicked out because we became so happy with being single, and the leader said the ones coming in are still grieving and needed care - lol - so we started a divorce care 2 class for the happy go lucky's. LOL. Good luck on finding peace with whatever the decision you make.
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